Back on the wagon

I made a decision at the start of the year on two separate, but related matters:
1. I needed to lose weight
2. I needed to start exercising

They look like the same goal, don't they? But I had different reasons for each one. I had slipped over 300 pounds again on the scale and my back problems were flaring it up, making it hard for me to sleep and get around in a day, so I wanted to lose some weight. But I was also feeling really low in my energy, crawling to bed and collapsing each day. I wasn't doing anything that was healthy, and it was all just rolling together in a great mass of fucked up. But I changed it: I started going to the gym and watching what I ate. I spent some time with a personal trainer, built a routine for weights and spent a half hour doing cardio each day. I felt worlds better.

Then I lost my job. Those who've gone through that kind of experience know what a blow that is to your self-esteem. I tried to keep going to the gym, but it just slipped further and further down compared to finding a job and working on writing, which at least felt productive. So by the time I got a job again, I was hitting the gym maybe twice a week. Then I stopped altogether when I started working again. I was on my feet all day, in shoes that my feet hadn't adjusted to yet, so I had sharp pains in the sides of my feet at the end of each day. Going to the gym in a situation like that seemed out of the question. And when you add that to a bouncing schedule, I found plenty of excuses to let myself wuss out of my personal commitments.

But that needs to change back to the way it was. I was on a good track, making progress before I got derailed, and I've got some things that I can do to get back on track. A good friend has been doing the same thing I've been to lose weight, but he's been able to keep it up and has lost a good deal of weight. The site that he uses to keep track is the same one that I used, so that adds a social aspect to it that might help me stay on the wagon.

I can only hope, I felt much better when I was hitting the gym everyday. I just need to figure out what gym to get back to and wether the gym becomes something I do before the office or something I do after I've spent my time in the office working on the book.